The Laws of Attraction in Psychology
One of the things that fascinates me the most in this world is the way love works. If we think about it, it’s one of the most powerful forces of nature! Love drives not only people, but even non-human animals do things they wouldn’t normally do for love (or something close to it). Love is assumed to be the most precious aspect of someone’s life (American Psychological Association, 1966). That’s why villains often try to harm a protagonist's loved one, either to gain his/her attention, break them emotionally or blackmail them. Although we can easily describe the chemical aspects in our brain when we feel it, the aspect of love in terms of psychology is so vast that it is not fully explainable even to this day. This essay will discuss some fascinating things psychologists have mined out from the cave so far (American Psychological Association, 1968).
Liking or loving is a part of interpersonal attraction and the development of
relationships. Before a person starts doing crazy things for someone, they first have to like them. This can happen in many different ways, such as being in close proximity, repeated exposure to one another, physical attractiveness, and other attributes, like the sense of humor and whatnot (American Psychological Association, 1968). This is the first step before somebody eventually gets the ‘symptoms’ of love, which is discussed more in the next paragraph. Another way we can call ‘love’ would be ‘crush’ (but perhaps mostly when it comes to one person finding the other attractive). This relates deeply to most of us because I’m sure we had a crush at one point or another during our time in school (American Psychological Association, 1965).
Now, love happens when the feelings and emotions of liking a person evolve into a different psychological state. A state that connects people together and makes them dependent on each other. It’s the moment where somebody finds his/her interest as physically irresistible, fantasizes about one’s future with the other person, exclusivity and intense caring about the person’s needs (American Psychological Association, 1964). This is what makes love one of the strongest forces/emotions in the world. It’s truly fascinating because it’s the one thing a child desires (in different forms) from birth to adulthood. Whether or not that love is passionate (or romantic) or companionate, it is what drives the cause of a person and why that person is psychologically wired the way they are (American Psychological Association, 1960).
In addition to that, many subfields of psychology could be used to research these stunning effects on the psychology of a person. Most psychological issues start with interpersonal relationships and a person affecting the other in some type of way. Hence, love plays a key role in conditioning and shaping up someone’s personality. For example, if somebody gets cheated on by their loved one, he or she may not easily pen up or trust anyone else in the future, causing the person to become more introverted or less socially active than usual (American Psychological Association, 1966).
Anyhow, the key point here is that we can research love in a variety of other ways to figure out how exactly it drives someone’s personality, which can eventually lead to a society becoming more efficient. Imagine getting rid of thoughts about your ex in one quick shower! That could be possible if psychologists figure out how to control this primary instinct (American Psychological Association, 1969).
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First Memory
My first memory comes in different bits and pieces, I don't remember much from childhood but the first thing I can remember is my grandfather when I was about 2 years old. He inspired me throughout my childhood and shaped my personality. Even to this day, I look through his personal diary whenever I’m stressed, confused, or just looking for answers to see what he would do in a similar situation.
He used to be loved by everyone in my neighborhood. I’ve never seen him do anything but smile, even when his employees were betraying him or stealing from him. He always made sure anyone who came to our house left after eating a meal and some leftovers for when they get back home. He used to take care of everyone in the neighborhood. One thing I loved about him the most is he let my grandmother drive a car and do a job in a country and time where the culture would consider it defiant. My grandfather never cared about what other people thought about him, he was just nice and made sure everyone was having fun around him. That’s why I try my best to be like him, but sometimes it seems impossible!
The first thing I remember is the first time he carried me over his neck and shoulders, and standing over the tallest man in the family, I felt big and strong. It was the first time I felt an empowering emotion. I think that was the key moment that led to me developing things like climbing, sky-diving, bungee jumping as a hobby. He would always carry me to his office after breakfast (my parents used to go to work while my grandparents and nannies pretty much raised me throughout the day). He used to own a bike store which eventually led to selling cars as soon as they were invented or traded in Bangladesh. However, he would just be in his home office all day doing journals and answering phone calls while his employees delivered the paperwork. He had a desk full of equipment that piqued my curiosity. During those times he was one of the 5 dealers of cars in the country.
Along with playing with all his gadgets, he would give me life lessons, talk about my day, and explained to me how the world worked. That particular day we were talking about how cars were made and how they function. One of his toy models of a Ford Mustang caught my attention and it eventually became my first toy car. I used to play with it whenever he took a break or looked away. That’s what ended up conditioning me into loving cars as well! Sometimes I’ll still relive this memory through bits and pieces in my dreams, and I usually try my best not to wake up!
I can talk about my grandfather all day and possibly write a book about him. The day he left us was one of the most tragic moments in life. I would give up anything to relive that memory once more to go back to when things were simple. I hope this essay livens up his presence and because some people say that the only time a person dies is when his/her name is mentioned for the last time. That’s why legends never die.